Love is, love.

I haven't blogged in a while now. It's always been that way hasn't it? I have all the time in the world - especially now, and yet I still can't find the right time, the right mood to blog. I don't think there are anyone who still reads my blog anyway, it's vastly uninteresting and very very cliche. I try not to be but who am I kidding, I'm a very cliche, hopeless romantic person. In some ways I quite appreciate that part of myself. It makes me feel more humane. Though I can be, very very cynical when I want to. Rarely happens though, but I can be.

With that being said, there's something that's been bothering me and I just have to get it out of my chest. As everyone in this world knows, I've always been very unfortunate when it comes to the matter of love or relationships. I can't think of a single relationship that I've been in that actually worked. Sounds quite sad, doesn't it? Tragic really, but that's okay. I have hope and faith. Things are going to work out for me one of these days and it'll be immensely satisfying. 

But no, that's not what I wanted to write about. I wanted to ask, if there are by any chance anyone who's still creeping up on this blog, I'd like to ask you a question. What is love to you? Personally. And why do you love? Please do comment on this. I'd really like to know. Of course I have asked a few of my really good, close friends about this and most of their answers were very... Let's say, original. One time I asked a dear friend of mine and he told me love was, in fact a person. It is not a feeling but a person. That was a very different and refreshing way of looking at it. Haha. I was asked to describe love, and I went with the cliche love is a pain. Very, very original huh? Haha. But now whenever I think about it, I don't really have an answer for it. 

It is neither painful nor beautiful, neither a person nor a feeling. It's just.. Love. One can never truly explain what love really is. You feel it in the deepest, darkest part of you. Love can be a choice, it can be a decision. It has a lot of meaning to it; all depending on different individuals. Even the worst kind of human beings feel love, right? I have this odd habit of reading about serial killers. Now, before you come to any conclusion that I am not normal because of this, I just feel very intrigued by them that's all. If you're thinking I might be one then you're wrong. I'm not that smart to kill and get away with it. Though I wish I was.. Kidding! Just kidding. Anyways, I read about them and most of them stated that by killing or performing a necrophilic act or cannibalism or dismembering their victims, it makes them happy - which is really wrong and very disturbed by the way - and it's a way of them to express their love. It's very uncomfortable and inappropriate but I find it interesting. They must've gone through a lot in their life until the only way they can feel loved or love is through inhumanly acts. It's quite amazing really, how the human mind works. 

I realise, I've sort of gone off topic.. I do beg your pardon, I tend to do that a lot. But at least you know a weird fact about me, eh? Haha. So that's that. Love is.. Love. Personally I think when people ask me, "why do you love him so much?" (him not being anyone in this particular context) To be completely honest and fair, I haven't got the slightest clue. Personally, I think that if you love someone, there shouldn't be a reason to it. If you have a reason for loving someone, then what if one day that reason is no longer valid? Does that mean you don't love them anymore? Or does it mean that you've simply gone pass that reason and found a new reason why you love them? 

I may sound rather confusing but think about it. Loving someone shouldn't have reasons to it. You love someone because you just do.. You just do. Not because they make you happy or smile or feel all the butterflies inside of you. It's certainly not about their looks or the fact that they buy you stuff and pay for your food. You love them simply because they exist. That should be more than enough reasons, right?

I realise if you're a realist there's more to that. Yes, it is true. A relationship or marriage can never work with just love or the idea of it. It just can't. There's responsibility, there's compromises. There's trust and loyalty. Who am I to deny all of this when it's the absolute truth? But you see - this is my opinion 100%, you don't have to go crazy if you disagree - those things are a part of a commitment. Not a part of loving someone. You love someone because you do because again love is just, love. Everyone is entitled to their own perception of love. I have loved and at some point was loved in return and for that I am grateful. I am grateful to have loved someone for who they are and vice versa. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a realist too. Just a little, 80% of me is made up entirely by romance and good intentions. Which sucks, most of the time. But we can't change who we really are, right?

Anyway, for my next post I'm going to at least attempt to write about something more interesting. Like my views on political issues, perhaps? But those things can get very nasty so I might have to reconsider. Maybe I'll recommend a few good movies; I'm quite the film geek. Or a few good books. I don't know, but I'll find something. Till then, thank you for wasting maybe about 5 minutes of your life reading this.