2015, so far.

It has been more than half a year since I last updated anything on this blog. I have no specific reason as to why I haven't been writing, if I'm completely honest. Lack of motivation, I guess. But so many things happened this year and I can honestly say that I learned a lot this year, so far. I learned a lot about people, about friendship, loyalty, love. I probably say this every year or every post I've ever written but goddamn it, it's different this time. 

It's different this time because the things that I've learned, taught me that the people you love, may not necessarily stay in your life forever, though it may seem like it at first. Or though you may have thought they would, but ultimately they are the ones to leave you especially when you need them the most. But I guess it's fine because life doesn't always work the way you want it to work. Maybe in 10 or 20 years it wouldn't really matter as much nor will it hurt as much, but goddamn it, god fucking damn it, it sure as hell hurts now. It hurt me then, and it still hurts me now. I am coping with it though, I'm looking past at all of these. 

The saddest thing about everything is that you have so much to remember with these people. They make you feel more than just friends, they were family. Sisters. Brothers. The memories you created with them can never, ever be replaced even if you were to make the same memory with other people, it won't ever just be the same. These memories are the things that I will, forever treasure deep within my mind, and my heart. It's just when it comes to me, there are certain broken things that can never be mended or fixed again, and I've been hurt enough. As pathetic and as cliche as this sounds, I deserve so much more than what I've received from people. Alas, not everyone has the same heart as we do. A broken friendship hurts so much more than a broken love.

But everything happens for a reason, right? We just have to trust God on the things we as humans, just simply cannot fathom. I do think about the people that I fell out with, I wonder how they are. I wonder where they are, what they're doing. I wonder if they think about me too and if they miss my presence around them. Anyhoo, if you're wondering, I am currently finishing my internship. I must say, the working world is so different than studying and college. But I can't say that I don't like it, cos I do. It's something very different to me, and I am eternally grateful for the things that I've experienced. 

Like I've mentioned, 2015 has taught me a lot. At the place where I'm doing my internship, there are so many different characters that I've stumbled upon. The people that I associate myself with everyday are an enigma but truly kind in every way possible. Others, who I only observe from a far are described as the stereotypical "Malays". No offense. I have less than two weeks left and sincerely from the bottom of my heart, I will miss working with them. I will miss the working environment which might I add, my office has never been quiet. It's also loud and chaotic. I love everything about it. 

Of course, after my internship is over I have to start browsing for universities and what course do I want to take for degree. Even though it's not until next year, time is moving faster than lightning. Next thing you know, we'll be saying goodbye to yet another year and we'll say hello to 2016. I still haven't fully decide what I wanna do. I know what I want, but what I want isn't necessarily what I need. I guess I'll just leave it at that for now. What I really need is a well deserved break. Since I started my internship earlier than everyone else, I'd like to relax after this. Spend some quality time on my own. Go travel somewhere. Get a part time job, just for experiences. Have a go at baking. Spend some more time with my man. Yes, I have a man now. Well, I don't really. But yes, sort of. I can't really say 'my man' cos he isn't but.. It's complicated. Haha. When is it never, eh?

Here I go again, with my never ending love life. Don't worry, I won't get into that. At least not in this right now, hehe. Well, I guess that's about everything so far. I'll try to keep my blog updated as frequently as possible, but really who am I kidding? Haha. I'll try. That's the best I can say. I will try.