Loneliness. - Part 7

He walked me home again after school. Well actually, I offered him to come and see if he wanted to eat anything. I told him that Bob might be cooking his special sloppy Joes. Freddie just couldn't say no to food so he agreed. He wanted food, I just wanted him to walk with me. I like his presence around me, it makes me feel happy whenever he's around. But there is still something in my gut that tells me I shouldn't be friends with Freddie and I should just go back to my old, miserable, lonely life.

I shook that feeling off and try not to over think things. We talked about our lives and he told me that he's in a band. "Must be great being you," I admitted.

"Why's that?" he asked me and kicked an empty Coca-Cola can on the pathway. Pre-school kids ran around, laughing with their parents, skipping with their friends. Cars passed on the street, birds chirped on the tress and the sun is still shining brightly.

"Because your life's great," I replied honestly looking at my steps.

"It's not really," he said and for as long as I've known him, which was really a week, he didn't sound happy. His warm smile turned into a frown and he stare at me. We were twenty steps away from my house when he stopped so I had to stop as well.

"My life's not great. I think your life is great," he said which quite frankly surprised me.

"Why?" I asked and chuckled. He shrugged and walked ahead leaving me behind. I ran up trying to catch him. He mumbled something that it almost sound inaudible. "What?" I asked him and he shook his head chuckling and he took my hand. My heart jumped and skipped a beat. My skin feels electrocuted when he touched me. My mouth went dry and my brain froze when he pulled me and started to run. "Run run run run!" he whispered and giggled.

For the first time in my life, I have never love someone so much. The moment he took my hand, I felt that nothing can stop me now; nothing can prevent me from falling in love with Freddie Johnson. I didn't care if I wasn't good enough, I didn't care if he had a girlfriend, I am in love with him. We reached our house and he let go of my hand. I smiled shyly and fiddled with my hand. "Come on," he nodded with his head and handing out his hand, smiling the most beautiful smile that I have ever seen. I took it and we both went in when Bob greeted me with a kiss and shook Freddie's hand.

"Ah, you must be Freddie," Bob smirked. Bob, my dad. The most amazing dad in the whole world. I just couldn't live without him, he has been my bestfriend ever since I was little. Bob loves me more than anyone else, even more than Annie. When mom died, Bob promised me that it will always be us together no matter what happen and for that I am happy to have him. Despite that he always tell me lame jokes, and worry about me too much, he is still the best. Freddie nodded and gave him one of his lopsided smile. I think even Bob melted when he saw him.

"Hi Dad," I kissed his cheeks and hugged him.

"C'mon in honey, bring your friend in as well," he winked and nudged at me. I slapped his arm and shook my head telling him to stop whatever he was doing. Bob laughed and asked us to go sit down on the couch. I asked him where Annie was and of course, he said that Annie had some work to do at the hospital. Annie is a part time nurse, she usually works on the night shift but sometimes the hospital need her during the day. It's not really a big hospital, just a small one for the town and I knew most of the nurse because when I have nothing to do at home, which was usually all the time, I would go to the hospital and help Annie.

"What's your dad's cooking? Hm, I hope it's sloppy Joes, I love me some sloppy Joes!" He said. I laughed and nodded. I went upstairs to my room and asked him to wait because I told him I needed to take my bag. I ran back downstairs with a bag over my shoulder. I sat back down next to him and took something out from my over packed bagpack. "What'chu got there?" he asked.

"My song book," I smiled, "I.. y'know, I wanted to- show it to you. But only if you want to," I said nervously.

"Aww, of course I do!" he said and took the book out of my hand and started flipping the pages. He hummed random notes and turned to a page where I wrote an unfinished song. "Why is there scribble all over it? Your songs are good," he said.

"I couldn't find anything that rhyme at the time. Hey, that rhymed," I laughed and he laughed. Bob called us to the kitchen to get our buns and sloppy Joes ready. "Smells good dad," I smiled at Bob. He gave us each a bun and chucked the bits and pieces of meat covered in tomato sauce on the bun.

All of us munched the food hungrily and Freddie talked with his mouth full, complimenting Bob's sloppy Joes and asked him how was work and all. They talked like they've known each other for ages and I really like the fact that Freddie's like a part of my family now. "So, when are you moving in Freds?"

"Probably by tomorrow," he said still with food in his mouth and then he looked at me and grinned. He still looked adorable to me. Bob laughed at him and offered the same thing that Annie did. "Yeah, I know. Annie told me," and just like that he called my step-mom 'Annie'. After eating, Bob said that he has to go and pick Annie up from the hospital and they need to stop at the Robinson's house for dinner. Bob warned me before he go, he said and I quote, 'Don't close your room young missy and if he wants to stay overnight, show him the guest room.' And then he winked at me and kissed my forehead and left.

I love my family, they're not uptight like other parents. "Don't you have to go back? I mean, not that I want you to, I actually want you to stay but if you have to go, I won't stop," I started to babble. He shook his head and walked closer towards me until our face were only inches apart. My heart was racing so fast I was afraid he would hear it. My palms started to sweat, I blinked my eyes rapidly and licked my lip. "Why can't Tara be like you? Why isn't she, you?" he said which thawed and froze my heart at the same time. I looked straight into those aqua blue eyes and I was hypnotized by him.

Just after a few seconds, he leaned in and I have been praying and wishing for this moment ever since I first saw him. I closed my eyes and fiddled with my fingers nervously when his forehead touched mine and he whispered, 'you're beautiful. But I can't,' which literally broke my heart into tiny little pieces. My heart shattered and I felt like crying but I have no reason to. I opened my eyes and took his hand. I knew that it was too good to be true and I knew that he would never go for a girl like me. My expectations have been made: he would never be mine.

"It's okay," I whispered back and stepped away from him. His eyes were filled with hurt when I stepped away from him but his grasp tighten. "I wanna show you something," and I pulled him upstairs to my room and listened to what Bob said, 'leave the door open.' I didn't want any trouble so I did what I was asked. He sat on my bed and looked around my room waiting for me. I took my guitar and gave it to him. "Do you play?"

"Drums and piano. Not so sure about guitar," he chuckled.

"Oh come on, I'm sure you know how to," and he took the guitar and plucked the strings so gently. He played a simply tune that I don't recognise but it was beautiful. "You call that not sure? You're amazing, oh my God," I complimented him.

"Well, I know a few notes," he sounded a bit cocky now. I raised my eyebrows and sat next to him,

"What song is that? Can you teach me?" I asked him and gave him the sweetest smile I have. He giggled and nodded in agreement. He patted the seat next to him asking me to move in closer. He put his arms around me and I held the fret. He told me what notes to play and I did what he asked where he picked the strings very smoothly. The song wasn't long, it lasted around two minutes and luckily I was a fast learner so I didn't made a lot of mistakes. After the song ended, we both just stare at each other.

"Spanish Romance," he said softly.

"What's that?"

"The title of the song. Spanish Romance. You're a fast learner," he said and put the guitar down. I moved away a little bit from him and sat there quietly when he knelt in front of me and held both of my hands. "I barely know you but," he said.

"But?"

"But I think I'm falling for you," he said and looked relieved. It looked like those words he said were a burden to him and he finally got that burden off of his shoulders. My heart skipped a beat and I held his hand tighter and smiled. I said nothing, I breathe calmly and I did nothing but smile.