Loneliness- Part 13

I told Freddie all the things that I was worried about and he said that he understood the situation that I was in. School was dreadful as usual because of the amount of work the teachers set for us and I had to suffer thtough the people who talked about stuff that seemed important but really isn't. Everything seemed normal for them, well of course, I don't know any of them personally but it seemed normal. As for me, everything was different. He hanged with Tara today at lunch and I went to my normal place to eat sandwiches and listen to music. I admit that I do want him to join me but we didn't want Tara to suspect anything.

I played my iPod and munched on the sandwich that Annie had packed. She didn't have work today so she made my sandwich extra special. I chewed and hummed the song that was playing. No one was there as usual because no knew about the place. That was one of the things that I like about the school is that the students there doesn't like to explore and just stay in one place. They talked about all the adolescent talk about; sex, parties, boys and/or girls, rebellion and all the other things that seemed important to them. For now.

If I had friends, I would talk about music, politics, movies, books and all the other things that is interesting to me. I would try and make conversation with them. Books, music, movies and politics sounds interesting, doesn't it? Well I think so and fortunately for me, so does Freddie. I remembered the night where he stayed over and we talked about all sorts of things. Mainly about music and classic movies. He talked most of the time, I just listened. I like listening to people when they talk, it fascinates me.

Then I remembered the night we danced together when the song Yesterday played on my iPod. Like an idiot, I smiled to myself because no words could describe how I was feeling that night. The notes and melodies traveled through my ear and I hummed to the song quietly. The bits and pieces of the sandwich got stuck in between my teeth and I sucked them using my tongue. I looked around my surroundings hopefully Freddie would appear out of nowhere but everything seemed quiet. I sighed deeply and looked at the time, lunch was almost finish. I sling my bag pack behind my shoulders and made my way to my next lesson.

The time was moving so slow because the teacher, Mrs Keener, was just sitting on her desk playing the Rubik cube while waiting for everyone to stop writing the essay she gave us. No one was actually doing it, or attempt to do it but I did anyway because I feel sorry for her. She wore red rectangular glasses and her hair is long and scruffy. I wonder what she's like outside school, I wonder if her life is just as minor as mine or she's a whole different person. I think about that about everyone in my school; I wonder how their lives are outside this building. Then again, I wouldn't even care because I don't even know any of them. The last bell rang and we all went to homeroom and after five minutes, we all went home.

I walked home alone because I saw Freddie left with Tara. Of course, I felt sad and lonely but I understand that she is still his girlfriend and I'm just the second choice. When I walked past the Johnson's house, Mr Johnson was watering his plants. This man must really love gardening.

"Hi Jenny!" he said very enthused.

"Hi Mr Johnson," I replied, smiling.

"How was school? Um, where's Freddie?" he asked looking around hoping to find his son.

"Er.. school was fine. I don't know, maybe he's with his friends," I said trying to avoid the fact that he is obviously with Tara and not with his friends.

"Oh, why aren't you with him? The way he talks about you is like you're his girlfriend and I understand that he and Tara broke up," he said putting down the hose and walking closer to the fence. I stood there smiling like and idiot suddenly when he laughed, "ah, love. What would we do without them huh?" he wiped his wet hands on the back of his trousers. Again, all I gave him was a smile. "Do you wanna come in for some tea or hot chocolate and wait till Freddie gets back?" Lucas invited me and I grinned.

Inside, boxes were stacked in one corner and the living room was still empty. "I see you haven't finished settling in yet," I said looking around the place. Lucas chuckled and went in the kitchen boiling the kettle. I stood there since there was no chair or sofa for me to sit on.

"Sorry you have to stand, we still haven't got to put the couch yet." Lucas said apologetically and after a few minutes the kettle whistled and he poured in into two cups.

"It's fine," I replied understanding the obvious fact why.

"You seem like a really great girl Jenny. Freddie don't have friends like you," Lucas said sipping his hot steaming tea.

"What? No, you can't be serious. A lotta people know Freddie at school because he is, well, you know, talented and good looking," I replied shyly. He smiled and we just stood there in silence for a couple of minutes until it was broken by Freddie shouting,

"Dad, I'm home! Oh, Jenny hey," he said when he saw me standing just ten steps away from him drinking tea with his dad.

"Hi." I said looking right in his eyes. "Your dad invited me in, I hope you don't mind."

"Of course I don't, I looked all over for you at school today," he said coming over towards me and gave me a peck on my cheeks. His dad smiled while sipping his tea. "Dad, we're gonna go to Jenny's house," he said without discussing anything with me. I looked at him with wide eyes and he smiled.

"Alright Mr Bossy. I didn't know that Jenny agreed to it but sure," Lucas replied sarcastically. I smiled at him and he took the cup out of my hand and went over to the kitchen. Freddie was wearing a red checkered shirt with white top underneath and cut off skinny jeans with grey VANS. He looked really nice even though it was casual. He took my hand and we made our way out of the house and walked over to mine.

"Jenny, I gotta talk to you," he said sounding sad and happy at the same time. I couldn't really tell. I swallowed hard and looked at him. He smiled cheerily and we sat down on the front porch step of my house. He took my hand and smiled again, "I broke up with Tara."

I gasped in surprised, "Oh my God, what? Why?"

"Why are you so surprised? Turns out she's been cheating on me for the past five months and I really wanted to be with you, now I can," he grinned and held my hand more firmly. I smiled in returned even though I felt sad and I don't know why. Maybe because I was scared he only chose me because Tara doesn't want him anymore. "I want you to know that I didn't choose you because me and Tara didn't work out, I chose you because I want to be with you, I've always wanted to be with you, I just didn't know it."

"Really?" I asked still unsure of what to say. He nodded and leaned in to kiss me when Bob interrupted us by opening the door and coughed,

"Alright lovebirds," he chuckled, "Jenny inside please, Annie needs your help." I kissed Freddie on the cheeks and whispered 'I'll talk to you later' and he pulled me and gave me a hug. I could almost feel his heartbeat pounding so fast and I was afraid that he could hear mine. His hug was warm and I didn't want to let go but then reality hits me, my dad was standing right behind us. I let go of him slowly when he whispered those three syllables that thawed my heart.