A Song For You: Untitled, 2014 - Kwon Jiyong (G-Dragon)

When it comes to music, I don't have a preferred genre. I listen to pretty much every genre and yes, even the heavy metal, hardcore music where you can't really understand the lyrics because they are basically just screaming. No hate there, I used to actually enjoy it. These days though, it's just not my cup of tea anymore. If there is a favourite, I would say acoustic, maybe? I do love me a good R'n'B but nothing beats the sound of an instrument accompanied by a heavenly voice.

This is going to be a rather short post, but I wanted to write and share it with you anyways. As you know, I am a fan of anything Korean. Fashion, beauty, dramas, music. I was thinking of making this 'A Song For You' as a sort of 'series' (I guess is what you can call it?) where I update my current favourite songs from time to time.

As you can probably tell from the title, it is a song by G-Dragon. If you don't know who he is, he is a Korean rapper/singer/producer/songwriter and leader of a KPOP idol group, BigBang. They're pretty famous actually. A little back story, I never used to like KPOP, let alone enjoy it. I've always known who BigBang was but never got into it and this was circa 2007, 2008? My brother however was obsessed with them. Dare I say he even fangirled over G-Dragon.

Now though, I bloody love it even though I'm a decade too late. As much as I love BTOB, BigBang has slowly sneak their way inside my heart for the past couple of weeks.  Especially a beautiful man, who goes by G-Dragon. I'm sort of catching up with all the years I missed out on but 12 years seems a little bit too much so I decided to focus on recent years.

He released a solo album and one of the tracks, titled 'Untitled, 2014' (ironic huh?) and it just gets to me. It's all I've been listening to and I just wanted to share it with you, hoping that you'll love it as much as I do.

Ready For Another Year

New adventures awaits us! Let's make everyday count, you lot!

By the time you read this, it would have already been the 1st of January 2018 and I just had to write the obligatory 'New Year's' post. Before I start though, I do apologise for being MIA for the past few weeks. If you must know, I have been lounging in my bed with countless amount of paracetamols and cough syrups, feeling absolutely sorry for myself.

I wanted to post something but I was just not feeling particularly well and quite honestly not myself. I feel much better now, though still battling with the cough and flu but nothing can stop me from writing about the things that I've achieve in 2017 and what I hope to achieve in 2018. 

This is going to be a fairly long post so bare with me. A lot of things happened in 2017 and we cannot deny that it went by so fast. I feel like I blinked and here I am writing this on the very last day of 2017. Out of the many events that happened, the first thing that I can proudly say I've achieved this year is that I managed to get through my first year - halfway through my second now! - of uni without any problems. Though my results for first year wasn't as great as I wanted it to be, I'm just glad I didn't fail anything. I can also proudly say that I am still working at the same place with the same people. There was many times where I really wanted to quit but I preserved and I'm glad I did. I learned so much from working at a hotel and in the marketing department, though it can be very tiring both mentally and physically, I'm grateful for the job anyway.

Another thing that I'm kind of proud of myself which I don't think this is an achievement to anyone but it is to me and that is I've been *attempting* to wear makeup - if you can probably tell, this year. I used to be one of those girls who find makeup a bother -  I still think it is on days where I have to take my wudhu - but I quite enjoy it now. Though I was greedy at the start of the year but I think I'm over that phase now. I found products that work well for me so hopefully for the coming year, I won't spend anymore unless I am completely out of it.

I'd like to think my biggest achievement for 2017 was that I became a more positive person. There were so many times that I fell, constantly losing battles against myself but I got back up and thought to myself that there are so many people out there who have far less than I. So many people who wish they could have a quarter of the things that I have and just like that, I think more positively about everything. It's not easy though but I do wish to keep this up for years and years to come - if I make it that far.

As a whole, that pretty much summed up the things that I was proud of in the year 2017. Though I can ramble on and on about specific memories, I don't think there is anything else is worth mentioning if I'm honest so I'm going to quickly write about the things I hope to achieve in 2018. 

The first thing I would love to achieve in 2018 is to help as many people as I possibly can. And this isn't just something that is for the new year but is something that I, we should do every day. There has been so many devastating news of nature, suffering, political issues and differences everywhere, I thought why not give all that I can and to the best of my abilities to help those in need? It may not change the world, but it may make a difference in one's life. I don't know who said or wrote this but there is this quote that goes, "The world is full of good people. If you can't find one, be one" and I just try to live by my life like that, every day. 

I would also like to make a difference. This is quite vast, as I'm not sure yet what kind of difference I would like to make but I hope when I do, I will do it for myself and it will be for the better. 

I'd also like to bloody read more books. For someone who calls herself an aspiring writer, I don't read as many books as you think I would. For starters though, I'd really like to start and finish A Thousand Splendid Suns. 

Spend less money on things I absolutely do not need. Now this may be a hard one but I have come to a conclusion that I'm not getting any younger (I'm turning 22 in July! Bloody hell) and I need to save up. This will be my biggest challenge yet but hey, if other people can do it, so can I. And so I shall!

Another thing that I really want to improve on is my iman (faith) because lately I've been feeling pretty weak, which I feel absolutely horrible about. Yes, I am well aware that this isn't something you can just achieve within a few weeks or maybe throughout the whole year, but I thought I'd just put it out there. It's just something that I struggle with everyday - most days I win, other days unfortunately, as strong as I may perceive, I am defeated.

I would also like to invest more on this blog. Maybe pick a better layout? Maybe post more than once a week? Maybe start an open discussion on a specific topic? I don't know what it is yet but I'll figure it out in time. But hey, if you have any suggestions, feel free to comment something down below. 

And lastly, I would very much like to live my year (and everyday for the rest of my life for that matter) with no regrets and focus on the positive things, even on bad days; especially on bad days. I mean you never know when your last day is going to be so it's best to just live happily. New adventures are ahead and I am quite ready for it.

I guess that is all that I have for now but hopefully in time I'll know better of what to do. I'd also like to thank you for sticking with me this far. I don't know how I still have people reading my blog (it might be the fact that I literally post a link to my blog everywhere) but thank you for being here anyway. And I hope that you'll be good to yourself throughout the whole year and to remind yourself  that whenever you find yourself feeling weak and vulnerable, you'll be okay. Just keep moving forward. I promise you better days are ahead.

Happy New Year!

With love,
Haziqah. 

Five Lessons I Learned In November

Wait... It's December already?!

I can't believe we're almost at the end of the year again! I sometimes feel like a broken record when I'm in front of the screen typing away at the fact that we'll soon be bidding 2017 goodbye. It's quite scary though isn't it? How fast the time is moving, and so many has happened too. Just a side note, I did plan to update this post before I posted My Glossier Favourites but I thought I'd just get that one out of the way first.

I read Anna's blog (no surprise there - I am such a fan girl, she's such an inspiration!) and she wrote a Five Highlights From The Month of November so I thought why not write something similar? I have quite a number of things I'd like to share with you, hoping that you'll gain something from this post too as I have of the past month.

Speak up because not everyone works the same way as you do, and that's okay. What's not okay though is to let others take advantage of you especially when you've been nothing but kind and understanding to them. It's not wrong to voice out something that doesn't seem right; I mean how else are you going to solve it if you don't know what the problems are?

                                 

Being patient is key, especially when you're working with other people. Again, everyone works differently than we do; sometimes their pace is slower than us, sometimes it's faster. When these things happen, we have to be patient. What's important is communicating with the people around you and it will all work out in the end, you'll see. Good things come to those who wait, because trust me; I KNOW. *Pats myself at the back*

While this may be harder to do (at least for me but I'm trying!) but saving up from what you earn is such a satisfaction. Ever since I started working, I've been able to buy things *exhibit A: Glossier... makeup...  food... SKINCARE *face palms** for myself and also for my family - but putting all that unhealthy and unnecessary splurge aside, I do have my savings and it makes me feel pretty good about myself. I feel like I'm a secure and responsible adult. Ha!

Offer a helping hand or words of encouragement because you never know who is in need of it. I don't know about you, but my day instantly gets better after helping someone out and after I posted 5 Ways To Keep Moving Forward On A Bad Day, three friends of mine messaged me and told me that they needed to read, see or heard what I wrote (which by the way made me THE happiest person alive and  I cried *actual* tears.) It genuinely makes me happy every time someone tells me that they enjoy  and/or feel good reading the contents that I publish on this world wide web.

And of course I started actual blogging this time. I've been reading a lot of other blogs to get some inspiration and a very dear friend of mine, Martine - other than the lovely Anna - actually got me into wanting to blog, for real this time. Though I still wouldn't call myself an actual blogger but it's still fun and I've got to say, I'm really enjoying it. I still haven't got to that stage where I'd pay for a custom domain and a nicer template yet but I'll settle for what I have for now.

Photos by: Sarah Haque

How To Get Into Reading Books

There is no friend as loyal as a book.

-Ernest Hemingway

I have a friend, who actually happens to my best friend and we have been friends for a fairly long time and I suddenly remembered of what he told me years ago. As most of you know, I do see myself as an aspiring writer. I love writing, especially fiction, ever since I was a child. I love creating my own world with characters that is from my subconscious mind. I love giving them a life, feelings, thoughts of their own. Unfortunately, this friend of mine is the complete opposite of myself - but we are very similar to each other in many ways, we even share the same birth date, it's quite creepy actually - and he bloody hates reading.

Don't get me wrong, of course when he needs to read something he has to - like a text message, or a safety sign, or a menu at the restaurant. But reading for fun, he's not about it at all. So I thought to myself, there must be others like him who doesn't fancy picking up a story book and read for fun. And just that alone, I feel like they're missing out on one of the greatest pleasures in life. So, I've decided that I'm going to share about my tips on how to get into reading books, for those who doesn't like to read.

But of course if you're already into reading novels and any sort fictional piece, you can skip today's post. Unless you want to keep reading, which I don't mind at all. I'd love it if you do. It makes me feel very appreciated. Anyways, unto the actual content.

Start with short stories because sometimes reading a novel with 2000 pages can seriously bore and suck the life out of you, especially if you're just starting to get into reading. Short stories are more straightforward, there's no unnecessary plot and characters which can either be really enticing, or really boring. Most of the time it's really intriguing, because of its short sentences and the pace of it is really fast. Like a staccato musical piece.

As ridiculous as this may seem, when I find myself lost in the bookstore, I actually go straight to the very last page and read the ending. I don't know why but I am one of those people who genuinely love spoilers. I like knowing what's bound to happen; I feel as if I won't feel as sad or shocked when it does. Now I know not everyone (almost no one) enjoys a spoiler so how about flipping through its pages randomly and stop to read a line or two? From there onwards, you might decide whether you'd want to continue reading it or not. It won't spoil the whole book for you, it'll be like a preview or a trailer; you only get to see pieces of it.

Of course, if you still feel like that's not enough to intrigue you, you can always start at the beginning. Sometimes a jump start is all we need, right? The next thing you know, you're already at the end and somehow you'll feel lost, as if you're longing for something - or someone. One that you've never even met. And that'll be the one of the saddest feeling you'll ever experience.

When I find myself lost in the words of another human soul, I feel everything all at once. I know then I found myself a 'good book'. But if you ask me, there's no such as a good or a bad book. It's all comes down to you because at the end of the day, you're the one who's going to experience it. If you feel like you found a piece of material that makes you feel everything all at once, you've found yourself a good book. Keep reading it.

Reading a book, whatever book it may be, can really help you in life. It was actually from reading that I decided I wanted to become a writer (duh, that's an understatement Haziqah *rolls eyes*). The first book I ever read that made me want to become a writer was, The Midnight Hand by Paul Stewart. This book genuinely made me feel so many emotions, I cried by the time I got to the end of it. And I can still recall the first day I picked it up in English class back in year 8, when our teacher told us each to grab a book and read for 10 minutes before starting our lesson. It was the best decision I ever made picking up this book.

I don't exactly have a copy of The Midnight Hand with me though, which is a shame. I should add that on my list of many things to purchase (at least I'll feel less guilty when it's not all just skincare products and makeup hehe) and take a walk down memory lane when I have it in hand with me. If you're wondering, the photos I used for today's post are just random books I have in my collection with me, most of my other books are sitting in a pool of dust back home in Malaysia.

There are many ways a book has affected me; as a writer and also as a person. I hope that you can find solace in books, when all else seems like it's crumbling apart. I hope that when you find a book that's worth every second of your time, you'll be able to find another and fill that void that is missing from your heart. I hope that one day, when I have a book of my own, I'll be able to inspire others, make others feel everything all at once with my words. There simply isn't a better feeling than that.

5 Reasons To Keep Moving Forward On A Bad Day

Because life isn't always a ray of sunshine...

Everyone has days where nothing seems right and you just can't help but think of the worst possible scenarios. As you grow older, life will certainly catch you off guard and whether you're ready for it or not, you're going to have to face the challenges. Before you sigh into oblivion, look at the world around you. You have so much, when there are others who have so little. Some have nothing at all. Though bad days are unavoidable, it doesn't mean that you can't find look for a silver lining from those days.

I thought I'd share some of the things that I usually do and the things that I hold on to whenever I feel like the entire world is against me.

Listen to your favourite songs. Sometimes music and the songs you love, communicates with your soul better than anyone can.

Look at where you are now, who would have thought that you had the ability to fight all the negativity and demons that is in your mind telling you to stop and give up? You certainly didn't think you could, but you did. You've walked for miles and miles from the beginning, you can damn well walk for another thousand of miles ahead.

Regardless of how little you have, there will be someone else who has nothing. Give something back, you'll actually feel better. It may not be much to you, but it could be literally change someone else's life. Personally, I don't think there's a better feeling than being able to provide and help those in need. Why does a  pack of sandwich comes in two pieces? Because it's meant to be shared. You won't lose anything, you'll actually end up receiving something in return.

It could be seconds after, it could be tomorrow, a year later; no matter when it happens, you will gain something. And I speak from personal experiences. Everything I'm writing about now is based on personal experiences.

Tell yourself it's okay, because it is. "I failed an exam," it's okay. "I didn't get to submit my work on time," it's okay. "I spilled coffee all over my new white jeans" it's okay. IT IS OKAY. You can relive the exact same moment a million times over and none of them could happen, and you'd still have a bad day. It's only a bad day, if you decide that it is. 

And of course the most important reason of it all is, you are alive. There is no better reason to keep moving forward other than the fact, that you are indeed, alive. Regardless of what it is you're going through, you are still alive. Pain is inevitable, but it is also temporary. I know some may have it worse than others, but as long as you still have a soul in your body, keep moving forward. After all, you have already travelled so far - why should you ever want to stop now?

A New Read: The Kite Runner

I am late on this one but I finally finished the one of the most talked about book by Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner a couple of weeks ago and it was one of the best reading experiences of my life, thus far. It was devastatingly beautiful, heartbreaking, funny and all the emotions I can ever think of. It was like the first time I read Looking For Alaska, except that wasn't nearly as tragic as The Kite Runner.

The story is about - of course if you've read it, you'll know more about it - friendship, loyalty, religion and most importantly liberation and redemption. If you have yet to pick this book up, I suggest that you do. You will not regret it. A few friends told me it was way too depressing, but personally I don't think so. I think it is a wonderful book with a good reminder to those who are well and healthy, those who do not live in such conditions to always be grateful with the life that they are given. Of course I don't think that was the point Hosseini was trying to make, but then again when it comes to literature, there's always more than one perspective.

I don't really want to write a 'review', because I don't know if I can write it without giving away the entire story, because I am the kind of person who can explain an entire 3 hour movie (novel in this case) in one go if I try - which I'm not going to, because unlike myself, no one likes a spoiler. I am still learning on this blogging thing too so, please forgive me.

I do however want to write about my experience throughout the whole novel and I'm going to attempt to write it without making it sound like I am writing an essay for English class. So, reading it in Amir's voice, it felt like I was him or rather I was there with him but just there as a mere shadow.  I felt helpless and confused, it genuinely upset me when I couldn't do anything to help. With that being said, it wasn't hard for me to control my tears, heck in fact the water works just kept flowing throughout my entire read.

A particular scene which I read and sobbed, like a child who lost his mum, was at the alley. I literally had to pause and put the book down for a couple of days before I could continue the journey with Amir. I have never felt so sick, sad, disappointed and devastated in my life. Like I said, it literally felt like I was in Kabul in the winter of 1975, except I wasn't there and these characters do not even exist. But that does not mean the feelings that I felt and issues that happened in the book isn't real.

Besides the alley, I lost count at how many times I wept and end up looking like a raccoon the next morning. Raccoons are cute, don't get me wrong but me, looking like a raccoon? That's an absolute, no no. This is probably the most famous line in the book, 'for you, a thousand times over' and I still feel my heart ache whenever I come across it. I don't know if I thought of the tragedy that took place behind the alley or if it's something else.

Regardless of what it is, it's a good kind of sadness. The kind of sadness you know you have to endure, in order to move forward and live a better life. This is why I want to become a writer myself, I want to make other people feel things when they read the words that I've written. I want them to remember me, through my words.

Right after the very last page, which ironically is where I began, I started to think about how lucky my life is. I think of how blessed I am in this life and compared to those who are actually suffering, my problems seems so insignificant.

I pray everyday that those who live in such conditions will one day be free of all the pain, I pray that those people whose homes were taken from them, will return and reclaim back what belonged to them. I pray, because somehow that's all that I can do. For now.

A Song For You: BTOB - Missing You

For the past year, as surprising as this may sound but I have been paying a bit more attention to the KPOP industry. I was just as surprised, that I found myself genuinely enjoying listening to Korean music considering I used to be one of those people who was negative over KPOP idols and artists. It all started when I decided to jump on the Weightlifting Fairy Kim Book Joo bandwagon over a year ago. I kept seeing gifs and memes on Twitter of this drama and thought to myself, you know what? Let me see for myself what it was all about.

16 episodes later, I was ashamed at how much I enjoyed it. I denied it at first of course, I couldn't let anyone know that I too, was into the whole K-drama/KPOP craze but in the end, I was unbothered at all by what anyone said. And there were a lot of critiques. Let me tell you this, it's freaking awesome.  Just because it doesn't suit to your taste, doesn't make it any less good.

Of course one drama lead to another, and the next thing you know I find myself getting into a KPOP idol fandom. As embarrassing as it may sound, it's all just for fun. I genuinely enjoy it and everyone has their guilty pleasure, this happens to be mine.

With that being said, I became a fan of BtoB which is an acronym for Born To Beat. They are honestly too good to be KPOP idols in my opinion, because the music they produce (yes, most of their songs are produced by a member), their vocals, stage presence and everything are just top-notch. I might exaggerate just a little, but I personally think they are the Korean version of Boyz II Men plus three rappers.

Since I'm trying out something new with my blog, I thought why not write about something that I genuinely like, right? I personally think most people overlook the Korean industry. They might actually surprise you; they definitely surprised me. BtoB recently came back with a new album and it's absolutely ace for me. There isn't a single track that I don't like, especially the ballads in this album. Missing You - the song that I've included in today's post - is their comeback song and I think everyone needs to listen to it. I hope you'll give it a chance and whether you like it or not, you can decide on that later.

Enjoy!

Autumn.

Hello, November. 

Will you look at that, in a month time we'll be bidding good ol' 2017 goodbye. There is so much that I would like to write about, but for this post I'll just keep it short and straightforward. Like my previous posts, I still don't know if my audience still exists but if you're still here, after every post which I update once in a few months, then you are very appreciated. You have no idea how happy it truly makes me. Thank you. 

Anyway, on to the post. In my last entry, I wrote about my everyday makeup products and said I was going to write about my everyday skincare products but never did. I do apologise for that, I must admit, I did start on the post - I even took pictures and everything but then as always, I ended up deleting the post (and pictures). But my skincare products have changed just a little bit because  I recently purchased Glossier and absolutely adore it. So I might write a post on that, pretending like I'm a beauty blogger (I'm really not, I'm not even an actual blogger! I'm just a girl who has a blog and updates every once in a while).

I can't believe how fast the year has gone by, it feels faster than the previous year and 2016 went by super fast. It also hit me the other day; I've been back in London for a year (and two months as I am writing this). I've always wanted to be back in London when I was in Malaysia but now that I am, after a whole year again, I miss Malaysia. Terribly. It is and will always be, my home. The older I get, the more I appreciate everything about life. The bad, the good, the ups and the down. As cliche as it sounds, you really can't take things for granted. Because like Stephen Chbosky said, "things change. Friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody."

I turned 21 in July. I would never have thought I'd see the day I turned 18 let alone 21, but I am grateful. I am also in my second year of university already, which really hit me; in a year or so, I'll have my bachelor degree. The results for my first year was a-okay, I could have done better but I always say that and never actually try to do better, which is something I need to work on. Which is why this year, I have and will work extra hard so that I could say I did my absolute best and pat myself in the back.

I've recently been watching a blogger/YouTuber, The Anna Edit. Something about her just inspires me to be more organised with my life, my work and pretty much everything. I literally start to organise and clean my room, makeup and everything almost every time after I watch or read her blog post. Which is a good thing because I am a very unorganised person (not proud of this, not proud of it at all). I also want to try this 'blogging' thing more often. I know, I know, I say this almost every time but it's the thought that counts, right? *insert big grin emoji here*

I could go on and on about what has been happening but I think I'll stop here for now. I'll try to write another post and update that one for either tomorrow or Saturday. What should I write about? Maybe I'll write one about the Glossier, or about my current interests, like books, music or movies. Or I could even write about my skincare, I've always wanted to try and have a go at that. Yeah, I might just do that.