A message for the lover.

Hello, fellow readers.. (If there is anyone out there..)

It's been a while since I last wrote something, and by that I mean like a story. I want to write something now to fill in this empty space I have before I head off to sleep.

"Love, oh that wretched word! How I wish I don't have feelings sometimes." She confessed, with a mixture of passion and sadness in her eyes. Before he could say anything, she continued, "but for what it's worth, I have found myself a wonderful guy, someone who I want to hold on to, someone who I don't mind committing to. I am serious this time, I no longer want to feel whatever I felt before, I don't want to feel terrible about everything, I don't want to push it away anymore.. Instead, I want to feel the warmth when I am with someone, I want to feel my surroundings filled with laughter and positive vibes, I want to be in a presence of someone who I care about and who cares about me, I want to feel again. Just something." She breathed every words longing for him to know it was meant for him. 

He stared at her with those eyes, those dreamy, brown beautiful eyes. How can she not feel what she is feeling when she looks at him? Life isn't like a book or a movie, but he is that character she profoundly finds herself lost in, all of her interest invested in him, and everything about him just gives her butterflies. His mouth pouted, exhaling all that chemicals from his cigarette. She lit one herself and stared at him.

"Who is this guy who makes you feel the way you feel now? I've got to say, I'm quite envious of him. I've been trying to change your perceptions on life and love, and he beat me to it. I feel shit, but congratulations to him. But he must know, when it comes to you, he'll never really knows." He told her, intensely staring into her eyes. 

She smiled and thought, "It's you, and with you, I can feel it. I can feel all of the above. I've finally let my guards down and open up to someone, and I'm glad that someone is you. I still often think of the times that I will fuck up eventually, I still think of all the bad things but I think less of it now.. It's too soon to say anything, and I don't want to say anything yet or say it first but with how you're treating me and where we stand right now - showering me with all the happiness that I never thought I can get - I am slowly, falling in love with you. Love, that wicked, evil word again. As hatred and horrible as it sounds, I am falling for you." 

"I wish I can read your mind sometimes," he claimed and took another cigarette and lit it after he had finished his last one. "But then again, I don't want to. Because I don't want you to break my heart, though I wouldn't really mind getting my heart broken from you."

"I fall in love the way you fall asleep; slowly and then all at once," she thought of a quote from her second favourite book. "I wish I can let you in my mind so I won't have to say it out loud," she smiled and held his hand. "You are what's making me think of all the wonderful things in life. You are what's making me smile everyday. You are, what I want and what I need. I am sorry I might fuck things up in the future, I am sorry for my faults and my flaws, but I can't help but falling in love with you each time you make me feel worthy and infinite." Her mind was nowhere else other than with him; the streets filled with people walking by, passing them, mothers walking with her children, men with their briefcase rushing to get to their work place and teens about their age holding hands and kissing, feeling the heat of the moment.

Life isn't some sort of fairy tale where happy ever after exists. Life is full of challenges and stories - all kinds - waiting to be heard by someone who's willing to listen to it. She braved herself and told him, all of her thoughts. She told him he's the one who makes her feel whatever it is that needs to be felt, she told him that she is not sure if she loves him but she is slowly falling in love with him, she told him in hopes that he feels the same way as she does. 

As horrible and hateful as it sounds, love isn't really a bad thing. But it is one of the deadliest thing, it can literally kill you so we must be careful with it. It is fragile, and strong & powerful. She smiled, and whispered, "for what it's worth, I've said what I wanted to say. Whatever happens next is just another challenge and adventure. I'm just hoping it's a good one."