I've been absent for a while now, I've been busy. I've been in college for about three weeks now, and I quite like it here. It excites me, and it makes me feel prepared for whatever's being thrown at me; mentally, emotionally and physically. I was so worried about it before, and it never occurred to me that I'd be fine. I am fine. Things are different here, there's so many different types of people here which I never acknowledge about. It's a different environment but it's pleasant because it teaches you things. So far I've learnt quite a lot about being independent. It's just what I wanted to learn, and I'm still learning it.
The things that I won't complain about are my roommates. I share a room with five other wonderful girls, who are just as gaga as I am. The lecturers are fine too, so far, and the classmates are really tranquil. They don't talk that much, they just follow instructions and orders. Which is good I guess, but I'd prefer it if they speak up their own voice. It's only three weeks, let's see how the rest of the semester's going to be like. I do miss Shah Alam however, I miss the dramatic life I lived there. I miss the hectic surrounding, I miss my friends. To be frank, I quite miss the school as well. I guess I don't really know what I miss most about it, but I just miss it in general. I miss my nieces, I miss the tingling feeling I get when I play with them.
I'm actually doing pretty fine here, it wasn't as scary as I thought it'd be. It's fine. Just fine. I'm lucky too, I'd say, because of my roommates. I've never really shared a room with strangers before, especially that they're all two years older than me, but they make it feel like I'm with my cousin, or with Afusat and Viviane, and Andrea, and Vwarhe and Mickey. This is exactly what I need with everything that's happening in life. I need an escape from reality to reality. I need to be more focus, as I've mentioned before and I am a lot more focus now. I eat a lot more here though, I'd say about 10% more than usual. Which is good I guess, I need to gain some weight.
I'm both happy and sad right now with where I am in life. I'm sad due to love reasons, and I am, deep down really broken about certain things. But from what I've learnt, I have to accept and let go, move on. It's exactly what I'm doing now. Okay, let me rephrase that, it's exactly what I'm trying to do. It's not exactly easy but it's actually not hard either. It's a matter of choice. I read someone's blog, and she said,
It's not about forcing happiness;
It's about not letting sadness win.
You have no idea how right she is. Happiness is about learning, discovering, travelling. It's about doing the things you enjoy doing, it's the songs you put on constant replays. Happiness is a choice.
I'll try to be happy, I'll try not to think too much about what happened, and if I fail, I'll just keep on trying.
Oh and Happy 2013 everyone. Have a wondrous year.
Go die
ReplyDeleteOne day when the time comes :-) dont worry anonymous dear, we're all going one day.
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