Loneliness. - Part 18

Freddie's piano concerto is in two days and the final day of exam is tomorrow. Life is pretty much going great for me and so far in life, I haven't been thinking any negative thoughts about myself or the world. I guess that's a good thing. Since Freddie walked into my life, I have been much more happier. Science, History, Geography wasn't bad at all so I think that this whole 'relationship' thing haven't been affecting my grades.

Here I am, studying away for my final test, Mr Lewkins' class, English. Since English was and always has been my first language, it shouldn't really be that difficult. I could've invited Freddie to sleepover with me but he had to practise his piano and he said he wanted the concerto to be perfect since it was going to be the first time ever performing in front of me. He said that was more important than anyone else in the room, even Lucas. I was happy for that.

I looked at the clock hanged on top of my bedroom door; 12.45 a.m. I yawned and closed my book and peeked through the window looking up at the stars and the moon. I bit my lip and smiled thinking at how beautiful God made them. I looked over at Freddie's window and the lights was on but it looked like no one was there. The window was opened and the curtains were dancing away to the chilly wind. I decided to do something crazy; so I jumped out the window in my shorts and tank top and shivered. Slowly, I crept to his window like a burglar hoping no one would notice me.

The window creaked when I opened it a bit wider so I could fit in through it. "Freddie?" I whispered pushing the curtains away from my face. "Freddie?" I whispered again and there was no answer. I put one foot ahead of the other and slowly turned around.

"Hello beautiful," Freddie appeared in front of me out of nowhere. For a millisecond I had this urge to scream and beat the crap out of him but then I remembered, it was almost 1 o'clock in the morning, I'm in a boy's room alone with the boy himself and I could get into major trouble. I placed my palm on my chest and put my other hand on his shoulder, breathing anxiously like I just had an asthma attack. "Are you okay?" he whispered and helped me up.

"Freddie! You gotta stop doing that to me, God." I said trying to pull an angry face. He did that half smirk and I knew I could not be angry at him. "What are you doing up so late? Shouldn't you be practising?"

"At 1 a.m. in the morning?" he snapped back and I looked like a total idiot. I bit my lip and rolled my eyes. He laughed. "Me? What about you?" he scoffed and walked over to his bed. His room was painted in dark brown with posters of bands from the 80's like The Smiths, Nirvana, Guns N Roses and a blank board stapled on his wall next to those posters. I wasn't sure why. His room was like any other boys' room, messy; clothes on the floor, his guitar placed right next to his single bed with red bed sheet and a big Mac computer on his study desk.

"I was studying for English and I saw your lights was still on so I thought you might still be awake," I said still standing there when a breeze of wind brushed against my back and send shivers down my spine. I rubbed my hand against my arm and rubbed my foot against each other to make me feel warm. Even though me and Freddie were 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' now, I still have that tiny feeling of shyness and embarrassment, especially with my body half exposed.

"Come here," he patted on his bed. He was already sitting on it with red duvet covering half his body and it looked really comfortable. I hesitated but went for it anyway. I sat next to him, and he put his arms around me. We snuggled up and our legs intertwined. "This feels nice," he commented and kissed me gently on the forehead.

"Mm-hm," I replied and felt really sleepy.

"I was sleeping at first but then I heard someone calling out my name and I knew it was you so I woke up," he said.

"Sorry."

"It's alright, it's been about three days without seeing you."

"But you just saw me yesterday," I said, confused.

"I mean like see you. Properly. Putting my arms around you, hug you, kiss you, feel you." I giggled hugged him, getting sleepier and sleepier every second. "I miss you Jen."

"I miss you too." I said half asleep. I shouldn't really be sleeping with him because 1) I have an exam in the morning, 2) Annie and Bob would get angry for sleeping in someone else's house without informing them and 3) Lucas could walk in the room in the morning and found that me and his son were sleeping together which usually make a single dad jump to the final conclusion possible: 'they must had sex.'

"Stay with me tonight please," he begged and held me tighter. I nodded and I wanted to but I couldn't. I look up at him with my eyes half closed,

"I can't. Got.. School.. Tomorrow.." I said slowly drifting to sleep.

The horrendous sound of alarm clock shrieked and I fell down from bed. "Ow," I mumbled and felt my head, looking around me; I wasn't in my room. I looked at Freddie's alarm clock and it was set at 7 a.m. and I thank God that I wasn't going to be as late. I got up and looked over at Freddie who was snoring gently and mumbled something. I kissed him on the forehead and whispered 'I love you' when a hand pulled me weakly,

"Don't go," he whispered with close eyes. I kissed him on the lips gently,

"I have to. Got school, sorry. I'll see you later, love you." And made my way out quickly before Annie could knock on the door and notice my absence. Freddie told me he was going to skip school because of the concerto and Lucas understood the reason why he wanted it to be so perfect. I took my shower and wore my casual clothing; black skinny jeans, green hoodie and a plain white t-shirt. I didn't apply any make up on because I never did so after a quick shower, I took my bag and ran downstairs.

"I know where you spent your night last night," Annie whispered from the back into my ears and squint her eyes suspiciously, "next time, tell me first." She said with a mug of coffee in her hand and blew it before sipping the hot coffee. I smiled apologetically and sat down. After breakfast, I made my way quickly to school. I arrived one minute before the bell went and unfortunately, I stumbled upon Tara and a couple of her friends.

"Well, if it isn't Miss No-one," she said as she approached me.

"I'm s-sorry, but I gotta get to class," I said and I was in a hurry because I didn't want to be late for my exam and disappoint Mr Lewkins. It's bad enough no one pays attention to him or barely knows he exist.

"Aw, why? You're late to your lesson?" she was making fun of me in a babyish voice which quite frankly was really annoying. I tried to get past them but her friends blocked the way for me to get through. "Good."

"Please," I said and looked at my watch. Still attempting to get through, they were touching my hair and looking at me from head to toe. "Please!" I yelled and accidently pushed them away. They stumbled in their heels and scoffed looking at each other in surprised and as I got through I looked over my shoulder and started running away. "Oh shit, I almost made them fell. Now I really am gonna die," I mumbled and shook my head making straight to Mr Lewkins class.

The time went by just like that and I was the first in class to finish the paper so I felt pretty proud. But I couldn't help but worrying about how the rest of the day was going to be for me. So instead, I decided to skip school and since I still have my invisibility cloak on, no one would even notice that I was gone. I didn't know where I was headed to and I can't go home because Annie is off duty today so an idea crossed my mind: I should try and call Rose. It's been about two weeks since I last talked to her.

I hesitated, afraid that she might not remember me but then I remembered her said: 'If you ever need a girl friend to hang out with, just give me a call alright love." So I dialled her number on my phone and waited for someone to pick it up. "Iya Jen, you alright love?" she answered the phone with a nice warm voice.

"Yeah, I am," I replied still unsure of what else to say.

"Lemme guess, you skipped school didn't ya? Good cos I was just about to call ya," she said as if she knew what was going to happen. I like her. I really do.

"Oh, yeah, how'd you know?" I chuckled nervously.

"Well, I have this sixth sense y'see," she joked, "anyway, I'll see ya in about 20 minutes at Starbucks alright and then we can both go and see Freds with Benny." I agreed and hung up the phone. I made my way to Starbucks and waited for Rose for about 15 minutes just sipping on my coffee. I didn't order anything for her because I didn't know what she likes or dislike. I was sitting by the window near the doors and looked outside at the people on the street.

"There ya are," Rose called me when she entered the cafe. I was so deep in my own world I didn't even realised she was already sitting in front of me.

"Hi Rose," I smiled. She returned me with a nice warm smile and went over to the counter to order her drink.

"Why'd you skipped school may I ask?" she said as she sat down with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand.

"Well, I finished my English exam paper and I almost got into a fight with Tara and if I actually did get into a fight with her, I dunno what'll happen." I explained my day so far.

"Understandable," she noted. "Ugh, I hate that girl. She bloody thinks she's well hot but I tell ya what, I've seen a nicer bitch than her, oops. Sorry," she laughed. And I laughed. She just compared Tara to a female dog and actually implied that she is a bitch. "Ya don't talk to much do ya?" I shook my head trying to find something to say. She chuckled, "that's cool then. Do you play any instruments?"

"I play the guitar a little," I said shyly.

"Really? That's brilliant. I'd love to see you play it," and she took a sip of the hot cocoa. I shook my head disapprovingly. "Well, you are really a shy person aren't ya?"

"Can I ask you something?" I asked not sure of what my question was going to be. She nodded, "how long have you know Freddie?"

"Ah, I've known him long enough," she said smiling. That smile isn't as happy and as warm but it was more of a sad smile. It was like she went back through time, deep in her memories, mesmerising about something so painful or something so happy. I couldn't tell which. "Yeah, long enough." She repeated again.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Why? Freddie, he's like my little brother. I knew him about five years ago, me and Ben was in sophomore year together and little Freddie would always hang with us because people find him rather weird." She was now in the past. In her memories. We talked and talked and it felt nice. I've never had a talk like this with anyone and she was really open to things which made me feel more comfortable being around her. "There's two people I'd die for: my precious Ben and little Freddie," she said.