Sunday 5 January 2014

Everything's jumbled up.



"Looking at you it occurred to me, I could sit all day wearing nothing but your kiss."

People tell you that you deserve better, but how come no one is ever willing to give it to you? I know that these things are planned by God and that we have to just go with it but I just sometimes wish there was a sign somewhere warning me about what's ahead to be careful, so I won't fall into a hole with no one to help me up afterwards.

I really don't know what I want when it comes to these things. I guess I just want to be loved by someone and experience a relationship that actually lasts for once. Not just last for the time being but really last till God knows how long.. That's the shit thing about having to 'stay strong'; you're not allowed to feel weak at all. I supposed it's a good thing.

I guess God has answered my prayers, to make him happy. As cliche as this sounds, you really put the people you love before you. It's true, and I'm sad to say that it is.. I sometimes wish I have the courage like my cousin does. She's invincible, and yet the most fragile human being I've ever come across. But she doesn't show it, that to me is hope. Hope for the better, hope for whatever good's in life.

I'm going to keep myself busy, I'm going to smile and hope, I'm going to do things for myself and I'm going to succeed. I really don't know how else to feel.. I'm not exactly numb but I can't exactly describe of what I feel right at this instant either. I guess I just need to try harder in order to walk the talk. And hope for the better.

Hope. Because that's all we can ever do when things don't work out the way that we want it to.
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