Nobody has it easy.

I have exactly two weeks left before I leave to go away and study at Kuantan, Pahang. It's like a two hour and a half away drive from where I live. It saddens me that I'm going to have to leave my family, my boyfriend, my cousin, my friends and minor life behind. As much as I always say I hate it here, I've also said that it isn't all that bad. I can't bear leaving them.. Though I only went to school for a few months, and it wasn't all joys and smiles but I have to admit, I have lovely friends whom I can always count on no matter what. And my on-and-off romance with my current boyfriend, I had a taste of Malaysian's high school - it was what I wanted once upon a time back in London - and it was exactly as I thought it'd be. Challenging, yes, but that's the thrill of it. I am going to miss my class, despite how I hated it at first. Hate is a big word, so I'll use dislike. I'm going to miss my classmates, though I barely said anything in class but I made friends and they are wonderful people. But what pains me the most is that I'm not going to be able to see my boy everyday again.. It's such an uneasy feeling, having to leave him behind.. We've gone through so much together though it's only been three months. Shitty-constant-changing-love life aside, I THINK I'm ready for college/Uni.

It's going to be a major change - again - for me, but these are the things in life that we all have to go through growing up. It's part of the process, though I'm sure if given a choice, no one would want to leave their friends and all the people they love behind. The pain would be unbearable for them. There's no other option other than to go and study quite a couple of hours away.. I'll come back, of course during semester break or on the weekend, or when I have time. I will be the youngest, and that scares me the most to be honest. Dina told me that it does seem scary at first but it's not bad at all, but I can't help but overthink the downside of going there and having to live there, make new friends, start fresh. I want to make a new start, meet new people, experience new things and the whole shindig but I can't deny that it'll be hard, so hard I might want to give up. But over the past week, I learned that you have to accept things and leave it to God in order to survive and move on in life. So that's what I'm going to do whenever shit is being thrown at me in life, I trust it happens for a reason.

What excites me the most is the fact that I'm going to be independent and survive on my own. This is a chance for me to prove to my parents and family that I can do it, I am heading somewhere in life. So there. Nobody has it easy in life, and I sure fucking don't. But whatever it is, I'm ready. I have to be.

All I Want - Kodaline.