Loneliness- Part 14

Dedicated to Shahanin Ismail because she's a good friend and I love her. (Click on her name to go to her blog)

It's been about a week since Freddie's break up with Tara and I am really happy to be with him finally. We've been spending a lot of time together more and nothing would make me happier. Spending the weekends with him was like spending time in heaven; each and every second with him was like living in heaven. I could feel all the happiness in the world and I felt wanted for the first time in my life. Around him, I could be myself and tell stupid jokes where he would laugh even if it wasn't funny, he and I would just lay down on the bed and stare at the ceiling without saying a word because we don't have to and it felt as if time stopped and it was just us two in the world. I have never comprehended what love meant before but now I know, it doesn't have a meaning; its something you feel. You can't describe it, you feel it.

Freddie's POV:

It's been about a week since my break up with Tara and I have not regret one moment about it. I lied to Jenny about me and Tara broke up because she was cheating on me. She wasn't, I told her the truth about everything. I felt bad but me and Tara didn't have anything special and I love her but I don't feel like we were meant for each other. I didn't tell Jenny because I didn't want her to feel like I'm only choosing her because I didn't want to be with Tara anymore. I actually do love her. With her, I can be myself. I can talk about anything in the world and it wouldn't be awkward or weird because she would either argue about it or agree with me which makes her more interesting than any other girls that I have ever met.

With Tara it's different. I have to be someone I'm not, like I have to talk only what she wants to talk about and it's mostly just about her bitching about almost everyone in the entire school. Except for Jenny, she never talks about her. I don't think she even knows her and I thank God because if she ever said something bad about Jenny, I would probably lose it. Anyway, Tara didn't say anything when I ended things with her so I'm guessing she feels the same way even though I highly doubt she does. I've been spending an awful lot of time with Jenny and I love every single minute of it.

She is probably the most amazing person ever and over the weekends, I sneaked into her room at night when she's sleeping and she would wake up two or three minutes after I wrapped my arms around her. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever met in my life and she looked like an angel when she sleeps. On Saturday, I sneaked in her room around midnight because she left her window opened. I wasn't sure why but I think it was because of the heat because it was uncomfortably hot that night. She was snoring silently when I crept in her bed and slowly wrapped my arms around her. I kissed her on the cheeks and that's when she woke up and she slapped me,

"What the fuck? Who's that?! Oh my God!" she yelled out pushing me out of the bed and I fell hard on the floor. "Oh God, I'm so sorry!" she said in a panic and helped me up on my feet. "What are you doing here?!" she whispered not wanting to wake her parents up.

"I miss you," I whispered back rubbing my arm. She smiled at me so innocently, so shyly. Jenny looked away from me when I leaned in forward. Even in the silhouette I can traced her jawline when she smiled and she looked like an angel. I wanted so bad to just kiss her and forget the world but she walked over to her bed when I leaned in. I smiled and got into bed next to her and our legs intertwined under the white duvet and she held my hand. Her fingers fitted perfectly with mine and we sat there like in silent for about half an hour. I was so nervous I worried that she might have heard my heart thumping against my chest.

I looked at her in the dark and I could make out the outline of her face when she was slowly drifting away to sleep. I looked at her and I felt calm and it was as if the time stopped and it felt like it was just the two of us that exist and all the problems in the world were lifted away and it was just happiness that surrounded us. I wonder if she feels the same way I do. I have never felt like this with anyone before and this is the first time ever I'm in love.

I put my head on her shoulder when she snorted in surprised and held my hand tighter. "I wanna stay with you," I whispered and she giggled softly. "I'll take that as a yes?" She made a 'hmm' sound and placed her head on top of mine.

"What time is it?" she asked half asleep.

"The time stopped. It's just us two in the world," I said looking up at her. She smiled, eyes closed. I couldn't help but have the urge to kiss her. Our lips touched and she giggled shyly. I pulled away my face from her because she was almost asleep. We both lay down in her bed and I wrapped my arms around her. "I-" I said when she turned around and kissed me.

"I know. You love me. I love you. Can we sleep now? I'm really tired." She said with her lips against mine.

"Okay," I whispered and hugged her. That was the single greatest moment of my life. I have never loved someone so much before at that moment it did, the time stopped. We didn't have sex, we didn't do anything. We were just laying there, in each other's arms and we both felt safe. She was endlessly fascinating, and I was helplessly gawky around her and if anything bad ever happens in the future, I would be more than willing to give my life to save her.